Don't shop At Walmart

Want to see Oprah Winfrey's Pussy? Neither did I.

www.poopsicle.org

It's easy and cheap to shop at Walmart. But it's just not right. Today I walked to the City Market and got myself some nice fruits and vegetables, even a Latte. I paid a little more but they taste better and I feel better about it.

http://www.dontshopatwalmart.com

Thomas L. Vaultonburg is plenty vexed someone has been stealing his intellectual property. I created Zombie Logic and Zombie Logic Press two decades ago and you're stealing. www.zombielogicpress.com

After considerable harassment, Zombie Logic has managed to bring back the Don't Shop At Walmart website. You can see it here. www.dontshopatwalmart.com

An Introduction To The Insane Essays

 

 

When I finally convinced myself to commit the rogues gallery of malformed thoughts I loosely refer to as My Philosophy to paper, it was agreed to, unanimously, that anything resembling serious scholarship or accountability be kept to a minimum. To this end it was agreed, this time in a secret vote of 5-0(reason, conscience, compassion and integrity were mysteriously not invited), that no research be done, no fact checked, and above all no concern whatever be shown for truth, justice, the American way, puppies, grandmothers, apple pie, the flag, John Wayne or the Statue of Liberty.

 

I also concluded after an intense evening of yoga and meditation, then a short but explosive bowel movement, that the proceedings would be greatly expedited if I went ahead and fabricated any facts or figures I considered necessary to support my positions. Therefore, any bar graphs, pie charts, illustrations or photographs may have been altered to make whatever crap I’m saying seem more reasonable. They might also be fake altogether because it amuses me. I am, after all the founder of the New Dirty Tricks Squad

 

The purpose of these essays is simple: to undermine the moral, economic and intellectual underpinning of society to the point where civilization is capsized into chaos and eventually destroyed, leaving me and the handful like me free to pick up the loose change and enjoy the universe without the intrusion of your constant humanity.

 

A satirist one wrote(and I may be making this up) “Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.” Well, we’ve seen the weather report, and we’re changing it. It is the highest immorality to increase suffering and the greatest good to eliminate it. Without becoming pedantic science shows that all the energy that ever exists in any system exists at the beginning and is diminished by the effort to maintain symbiosis in that system. During the lifetime I have lived the point where that energy was sufficient to support all the life here on Earth reached it’s zenith and is now plummeting towards an original state of chaos. I can actually pinpoint the moment when I felt that all humanity was plunging into the abyss. It was when those who were so culturally illiterate and devoid of humanity to buy a Milli Vanilli album showed outrage at being duped and were deemed worthy of a return of their money. There was really no point going on after that. Read Zombie Logic Press

 

So a few of us got together and decided if destruction was inevitable then the highest good was to accelerate the process. Hip hop music, cultural relativity, I’m Ok You’re Ok, Oprah Winfrey, Cosmopolitan, that was us. Don't Shop At Walmart

 

We’re humanitarians and fair-minded. Is it not just that if some suffer all should suffer? In fact shouldn’t those who took more than their share, injected immorality into the system for their own pleasure and gain, thus ensuring the rest of us would have too little, bear more responsibility for the destruction that is now happening. To that end it is recommended that the elitists who’s greed and disregard for the well-being of all be singled out and punished especially. Lists of their names and locations should hereby be compiled and kept for future reference. Most of them aren’t human anyway and aren’t entitled to human forms of justice but that’s another story.

 

My hope is that after reading this assemblage you’ll be liberated from the enslaving doctrines and practices that have been foisted upon you by those who do nothing but profit from your enslavement and you’ll be freed to act in ways which will accelerate the destruction of this civilization thus ensuring the full measure of suffering and loss we are all deserving of. I would dare call this a manifesto but having seen such so called manifestos and the eventual living conditions of those who have written them I’ll just call it a well-intentioned satire.

 

If all goes well this will be the last book you’ll ever buy and I’ll manage to extract the funds and spend them on a corn dog and blue Slushee just before you pull the lever and the whole shithouse explodes. Welcome to it. Your benevolent avenger, Learn more about Thomas L. Vaultonburg

 

Four Dead In Ohio

       

       

        This morning I awake to exciting news. An Asian gunman has opened fire on the campus of Virginia Tech, killing at least twenty. As I write it is noon and the details are mounting. Of course I tune in to the news for lack of choice in gaining information.  I’m struck by many observations. The first is that this shooting is being covered in exactly the same way every other one has and exactly the same questions are being asked. The main question is “How could this happen?” One answer is DirtyTricks Squad

 

        The question is the answer to the question. Asking why tragedy occurs and why there are people out there who hate America and their fellow Americans enough to kill them demonstrates a lack of empathy that borders on sociopathy. Throughout my life people have used the example of Adolf Hitler and the murder of millions as the utmost example of evil and asked the question “How could people stand by and allow this to happen.” Once again the very question is the answer to the question. These things happen and will now happen at an accelerated pace for the very reason that you will watch them happen and attribute the evil to others while failing to acknowledge in any way how you bear responsibility for evil and ignorance and its consequences. You have been the one standing by and doing nothing while the conditions necessary to produce legions and legions of disaffected, disenfranchised, abused, oppressed and discarded human beings have been boiling and boiling like a poison stew.

 

        When encountered by unspeakable evil I never ask “How can this exist.” I know how it exists because it exists in me in some way as it exists in you. To deny this is to deny my humanity. America has denied its humanity. The national obsession to distract ourselves from the injustice, pettiness and sheer ignorance that pervades our daily lives through every banal and hollow avenue possible from American Idol to hip hop music is evidence of this. Read Zombie Logic Press

 

        To ask why this has happened and display shock and incredulity seems phony and forced. In fact it’s not even the question being asked. “Why has this happened would be a valid question,” but the question being asked is “Why would someone do this?” I know why someone would do this. I know because I am a human being and I have black thoughts from time to time. So do you.

 

        So, why would this happen? I’m also going to answer this question. And I’m going to explain why it will happen again with alarming rapidity. American Idol. It pisses people off. You think I’m joking? I’m not joking. Were it not for this incident allowing Americans to be shocked and horrified and mystified why anyone wouldn’t like them CNN and MSNBC and Fox would all be doing in depth discussions of American Idol and coyly pretending they are secretly shamed for spending so much news time doing so. That’s your explanation. While there were people out there suffering and in need of help you were obsessed with which untalented retard would be voted off American Idol.

 

        Americans are so convinced that they are good and great and that out prosperity and lack of hardship is proof that we are right and good and God favors us that we have lost site of a growing hatred of us and our culture that stems from our refusal to show any empathy for those not as fortunate as us. You want an answer as to how anyone can stand by like the Germans while Hitler murdered six million I tell you America is the answer. This very morning people are being murdered and tortured and enslaved and dieing of disease and hunger and you’re too fucking busy obsessing with whatever dumbfuck television show is popular this season to even acknowledge the fact. Then you have the unmitigated gall to seem shocked when everyone doesn’t share your happy ignorance. You’ve traded your humanity for a daydream that has been foisted on you by the true perpetrators of evil. To coin an advertising slogan “You wanted it you got it…”

 

        Riddle me this or don’t if your delicate nature won’t allow you to plum the depths of your soul: are the news agencies having a good time today? Look in their eyes. Just like the Don Henley song isn’t it? How long did it take them to turn this into an episode of 24 or CSI? They’re having a fucking blast. The little bitch on CNN is gleefully giving a running total of how many hits their web site is getting for their eye witness cell phone coverage. I ask you with all sincerity are these people capable of discerning an episode of Survivor from a real tragedy?

 

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